The Dance Floor

It is interesting to watch the rage of the dance floor. The organized chaos swirling about. Dancers careening around the floor, yet constantly aware of each other. Sensing the others presence on the floor they move in unison crying out with rage and anger unleashing it to the sounds of a booming bass. They become one with their primal nature; at once beasts and civilized creatures. Enjoying the excesses of each. Craving the lick of sweet sin upon their flesh. Drawing their souls into the flames of passion, creativity and life. The undulating rhythm moving through them all; connecting; unifying; Beyond social standing, beyond work and beyond race. They surrender themselves to the ever moving, ever changing beat and become one. Lifted beyond their corporeal form. A creature of energy, mind and soul. Alive. Together.

I will science the hell out of that!

I totally would, or will that is. But what might warrant such a strongly worded threat you might ask?

Beer. The answer is beer. Specifically attempting to earn a Man Point by mastering a task. The task that I have decided upon is the notable "PITCHER CHUG!!!!" *Insert thunderclap and lightning flash*

Yes I will attempt to chug an entire pitcher. All of it. In as few breaths as possible. As quickly as I can. I think it can be done.

Now for the specifics.

1. I will use Pabst Blue Ribbon (PBR) for this experiment. Mainly because it is cheap, okay and smooth.
2. Lab Coats will be used to maintain an appearance of professionalism. Pocket Protectors are optional (at your own risk of course.)
3. All trials will be videotaped and posted online for proof and review to improve strategy and techniques.
4. An amusingly larger then necessary stop watch will be used to track time.
4. No puking. Gotta keep it down to win the crown.

Well I am off to have a porter before I begin my training.

The Holidays

The holidays were pretty good this year. I spent Christmas Eve, Christmas and Boxing Day with my family.

Christmas Eve we gathered around, talked and shot the breeze before going to church. Which didn't really do anything for me. I'm not religious. I don't have anything against it, it just doesn't make sense to me. That's all.

We went to the same church that we used to go to when we lived in Larchmont. The Larchmont United Methodist Church. All in all a relaxed and relatively laid back church. My parents used to give me the option (option with no choice) of going to two church events each Sunday. They didn't make me go because they were very religious or because they wanted me to be. No they made me go to become more social and to interact with other people. Which was probably for the best. Truth be told I would have preferred to stay at home and read, but I didn't have a choice. So when I did go on Sundays I usually went to Sunday school in the morning and youth group in the afternoon. Now we really didn't cover anything about religion in youth group. The only reason anyone attended was because we had a pool table, so we sat, played pool and shot the breeze. In fact people, stopped attending when they finally got a teacher in for Youth Group and started actually teaching about Jesus.

Now what was I talking about...oh yeah, Christmas. So we are sitting in church watching the service when the skit started. The same skit they do every year. The one about Jesus and Mary and Joseph and the whole birth. Yeah we all know the story. So about two minutes in my brother and I started writing notes on the program and passing them back and forth between each other. Basically we started riff tracking (MST3King) the skit. Terrible I know, but so was the play. Terrible. I really liked how the kids held up speech bubbles for their lines. Except for the angel. He held up a thought bubble. So I actually learned something. Mary was telepathic. She could read the angels thoughts.

Well I had more on my mind, but that will come later.

My first time Vol 1

I don't remember lots. I'm not really sure why. A lot of my past is a bit of a haze. Not in a bad way. I remember bits and pieces, but if nothing very interesting happens then it just sort of fades away. Into the mist so to speak. I've had a good life without any major issues. Just long periods of merely okay. But I am getting a bit sidetracked I was going to tell you about one of my first times.

It was sometime during the summer of '04 I am not sure exactly when. July maybe, because I think I was 19 at that point. Don't quote me on that though. It was a Friday night and I was hanging out with a few friends at the top of Fort Monterey. Monterey is a huge hill, so we were relaxing at the top of the hill by the track.

Well after a few hours of hanging out we eventually decided to start drinking. Nothing major or even particularly interesting other then the fact that it was my first time really drinking. Drinking as in more then a beer. So after I consumed a large amount of booze (one six pack of woodchuck cider) I was drunk. Not blacking out or stumbling around, but drunk enough to do ridiculous things.

So what crazy thing did I do my first time? What silly act did I perform? I ran three miles. Yep. That is it. I ran three miles on the quarter mile track at the top of the hill. After that I went over to my friends, plopped down and we proceeded to talk about random and silly subjects. You know, drunk ramblings.

Popping the cherry.

Well I am popping my blogs cherry right now and like when I had my cherry popped I am a bit confused, scared and wondering why I smell gun oil.

So it is popped and now I have an daunting task ahead of me; I have to figure out what I am going to be writing about. Will this blog simply be a loose amalgamation of ideas like many populars blogs or will I toil in obscurity by finding a niche market and obsessively catering to them? At this juncture I don't know which route I will follow. I do know that I may post short stories from time to time (whether anyone likes it or not...my blog my rules) and will most likely be ranting and raving about things that annoy me or things that I just find funny; be they stories from my life, a friends life or where ever. Just so we are clear I am going to say that most of the stories will be true, to the best of my knowledge, however I am not above twisting and altering parts in order to make it more amusing. I won't alter it to prove a point or win an argument, but I will twist it in order to become more humorous and self-depreciating. "I have never let the truth get in the way of a good story."

I will post a little bit about myself tomorrow. After all, I am now unemployed and have exactly nothing better to do with my time, because one can only play video games and masturbate for so long before the mind craves more stimulation.

-SJ-